Curious Soul

Honestly, everything.
But not in the academic way we’re taught to be curious in school. Not in the “read a chapter and give an answer” kind of way.
I’m curious about life, the messy, confusing, beautiful, heartbreaking experience of just being human.

I often find myself staring at the ceiling at 2 AM, wondering: Why is my life the way it is?
Why did I come into this body, this family, this generation? What is the deeper purpose of my suffering, my delays, my detours?
Is there some lesson I’m supposed to learn from the silence, loneliness, heartbreak, and ache that never actually leaves?

I ask myself… what is the actual purpose of being born human?
Is it merely to check off boxes, study, job, marry, have children, and die?
Because if that’s all, then what about us who are different, who don’t quite fit within those steps?
What about the ones who question everything, who collapse in their rooms while they’re smiling in public, who feel so deeply that sometimes it hurts to be alive?

I wonder about the spiritual aspect of all of this.
Was I here before? Will I be here again?
Is this pain just karmic trash I need to sweep away? Or perhaps there is something my soul is attempting to tell me each time I ever feel lost, exhausted, or misplaced?

I search around and ponder, why are there certain individuals who are so cruel, so heartless, so egotistical?
How did we end up being a world in which likes are more important than love, where appearances are more important than authenticity, where people ghost one another rather than just being honest?

It frightens me at times, the way the world is changing.
How Earth, this gorgeous blue planet with so much potential, is gradually becoming something that I feel is hell for sensitive hearts.
Why is it that we’ve created a world where burnout is a badge of honor, but rest is laziness?
Where feeling deeply is “too much,” and being detached is cool?

I’m curious about our generation’s pain.
We joke a lot, meme our traumas, laugh to avoid crying.
But underneath it all, we’re carrying so much.
Anxiety is normal now. Depression is common. Loneliness feels like a silent epidemic.
We swipe to connect but feel more disconnected than ever.
We talk in texts, but we’re starving for real conversations, the kind that touch your soul, not just your screen.

I often wonder if we’re the generation that’s meant to break the patterns.
The trauma, the people-pleasing, the pretending, the generational wounds.
Maybe that’s why it feels so heavy, because we’re healing not just for ourselves, but for those before us and those after us.

And yet, despite all of it, I remain interested in hope.
In love. In kindness.
In how even when the world can feel so cold, there are still soft places, still loving people, still moments that cause your heart to swell for no reason at all.
Such as a song that gets you. A sunset that hugs you. A smile from a stranger that reminds you you’re not invisible.

I believe perhaps that is what it means to be human.
Feeling everything, too much, too deeply, too often.
Falling apart, then reassembling yourself.
Losing faith, then regaining it in the tiniest corners.

So, what am I curious about?

Everything that can’t be Googled.
Everything that takes soul, not just brain.

I want to know what my hurts are trying to teach me.
Why do I keep pushing forward even when I am exhausted?
Why am I drawn to stars and poems and healing and meaning?
Why do I crave depth in a world of surface-level living?

Maybe, just maybe, this curiosity is my guide.
Maybe I’m not lost, just still following my sacred path.

And maybe, if you feel these things as well, you’re not alone.
We’re all merely attempting to remember why we came here.

And maybe… that’s the point.

✨ P.S. A Little Note from My Heart
If this touched you in any way and you’d like to support my journey, I’d be so grateful if you checked out my YouTube channel, where I share healing quotes, soulful reflections, and gentle reminders for the heart.
And if poetry is your thing, come say hi on Instagram, I share raw, emotional, and relatable pieces from the soul.
Follow along here: https://www.instagram.com/midnightmusings99?igsh=Y3RmcndzcDc0N3o4

And here is the link for my published books and YouTube Channel: https://lnk.bio/midnightmusings99

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