Strings That Choke

What really bothers me is this constant, invisible pressure to live a life that’s not even mine. I feel like I was handed a script the moment I was born, written by society, edited by relatives, and directed by my parents. And I’m expected to perform flawlessly, without question. Like a kathputli (a puppet on strings) my every move feels dictated: what to study, how to behave, when to smile, when to marry, how to look “presentable,” even how to feel. It’s exhausting.

What bothers me is that this isn’t just my story, it’s the quiet pain of so many people in this generation. We’re suffocating inside homes that are supposed to be our safe spaces. Toxic parenting masked as “concern,” emotional manipulation disguised as “tradition,” and the subtle but deadly dismissal of mental health as just “overthinking.” Parents say they sacrificed everything for us, but sometimes I wonder, was that sacrifice ever about love or about control? Was it really for us, or for the version of us they had in mind?

It bothers me that you can’t just be. You can’t say, “I don’t want to get married,” or “I don’t believe in the 9–5 hustle,” or “I’m not okay today” without judgment, mockery, or guilt-tripping. We’re told to follow our dreams, and then when we try, we’re told to stop being selfish. It’s a trap.

What also breaks me is the state of the world around us. Crimes are everywhere, against women, against children, against anyone who dares to be different. There’s this constant hum of fear and helplessness, like we’re all walking on thin ice. It’s hard to stay hopeful when humanity feels so lost. We scroll through Instagram and see smiling faces, aesthetic lives, “living the dream”, but we’re all quietly battling anxiety, burnout, trauma, identity confusion, and loneliness. It’s like we’re all part of a beautiful lie.

And then comes marriage. The sacred, suffocating ideal. Especially for women, it’s not a choice, it’s a deadline. A measure of worth. It’s like your value has an expiry date, and no one cares about your dreams or healing. Just settle. Adjust. Be the “good girl.” Lose yourself. And they call that love?

What bothers me most, though, is how hard it is to find your “self” in all of this. I believe our souls came here with a purpose, but that purpose gets buried under expectations, labels, fear, and generational wounds. We’re taught to ignore our intuition, our inner voice. And in doing so, we disconnect from our path, from our peace, from the divine essence within us.

Sometimes I just want to sit with God and ask, why is it so hard to just live authentically? Why are the kindest, most sensitive souls the ones who suffer the most?

But even in all this, I’m trying. I’m slowly learning that healing isn’t rebellion. That saying “no” is a form of self-love. That I’m not here to make everyone proud, I’m here to live a life that feels like me. And maybe, just maybe, that’s how we break the chain. One gentle refusal, one courageous choice, one tear turned into a boundary at a time.

And if you feel this too, you’re not alone. I see you. I feel you. And I hope we all find the strength to untangle ourselves from the strings… and finally dance to our own music.


Comments

13 responses to “Strings That Choke”

  1. We all are going through these things. And you explain them better!👏🏽

    The things I don’t want to do or I’m not clear about:

    • overloaded study work based on rote memorization
    • a mass crisis of jobs are cut throat competition
    • marriages (have observed my parents since childhood)
    • increasing crime cases, hate, descrimination
    • you are EXPECTED to deliver the best, anytime, anywhere. What’s your condition and are you interested, no one asks.
    • toxic parenting (I wish I was not born)

    I felt isolated and lonely since the school time. This process didn’t stop till college.
    Now I feel isolated at my own home.

    Maybe there’s some serious problem with how I see, approach, and practice.

    There’s no option other than following others.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for this!
      Reading your comment, I felt like yeah… we get each other. We think and feel so similarly, it’s kinda comforting in a way.

      The pressure, the loneliness, the feeling of not fitting in, even at home….it’s tough. And no, there’s nothing wrong with how you see things. You’re just more aware than most people.

      And about there being no options, I get why it feels that way. But honestly, there are options. It’s just that choosing your own path often means letting go of a lot, people, approval, comfort. But that path is yours, and in the end, it’s worth it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Keep writing!

        Your words have encouraged me to maintain my originality.
        For me originality means raising my voice even when no one listens or don’t care.

        We are being taught to ‘fit in’ since the beginning.
        However, I know the systems we follow are made by our own ancestors. They have evolved throughout the history.

        At some point of time, there was someone who initiated something with his/her originality.
        Rest people followed, later.

        It isn’t difficult to get the answers of your questions when you start answering them ‘on your own’.

        (By reading this my first reaction was same: how someone can be so relatable?)

        🤛🏽

        Liked by 1 person

      2. 🤜🏻

        Liked by 1 person

  2. careandselflove Avatar
    careandselflove

    those invisible strings often hold us back more than we realize.
    Thanks for shining light on the subtle ties that limit our freedom. May we all find the courage to cut them.

    — careandselflove.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beautifully said. Here’s to breaking free, slowly but surely.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Saying no can be the best thing we do for ourselves. It may not feel comfortable at first but will build with confidence. You may get blow back or pressure at first but hold your ground, you are the only who controls you. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely agree, saying no is tough but powerful. 🌱
      It’s uncomfortable at first, but it’s how we start reclaiming our space.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. After I realized how much stress I was putting on myself, but not for myself, saying no became easy. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s terrifying how relatable this is. We’re all dressed up in expectations, stitched into roles we never auditioned for. And no one notices we’re suffocating, as long as we smile on cue.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right? It’s wild how we’re all just performing, hoping someone sees past the act.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. A great intro to your blog post.

    After finishing university I took my time finding a job. Checking things out, when an elderly farmer thought he would take me to task. His opening line was, “In the sweat of your brow you shall labour.

    My surprising quick response was, “I choose not to live under Adam’s curse. I live the resurrection.”

    If you want your kids to stand out, don’t expect them to fit in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading! Totally agree….standing out starts with choosing your own path.

      Like

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