Finding Yourself: The Brave Path of Self-Discovery

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3 responses to “Finding Yourself: The Brave Path of Self-Discovery”

1. 

   Lokesh

   October 24, 2025

   Hi Neha!

   Introducing myself is the toughest thing to do for me when I am talking to a second person. It isn’t the issue as if I forget who I am it is that ‘discomfort’ in associating with a particular selfimage.
   Generally when other people interact with us, they judge us (subconsciously), without realising how biased they are.
   Toh I have been living at home for last 18 months aur 2-3 din pahle meri ek neighbourhood aunty ne puchha ki ‘tum kab vapas aaye (hostel se, Indore se).
   In another event my professor asked me— ‘beta! Aap issi class me ho kya’. She didn’t recognise me — because I removed my beard (she thought I belong to the UG class). Yaar…main continuosly ek-do week se unki classes attend kr rha tha, and this is her reaction (though I understand why).
   Toh I do relate to your question of finding yourself which’s a genuine and deeper question. The incidents I mentioned above trigger us to ask that question.
   Because mujhe lagata hai — ‘mere saath hi aisa kyunn hota hai, main hi kyunn’.

   1. The hardest goal you have is “staying real, staying present, and staying kind to the person I’m becoming” which’s more personal and not other general areas of life.
   ‘Being honest’ that’s connecting to your own roots works better than getting customised like a chatbot or a robot.

   I do relate here. As our world has become more diverse and it evolves continuously, prioritising oneself with a defensive attitude has become important too.

   2. Finding yourself is basically self-acceptance (and not mysteries, comparison, superhero obsession, twists, external approval).
   You observe, “In today’s world, self-acceptance feels like rebellion”. Like you end up comparing your present moment or present day with someone else’s well planned-monetary invested-exaggerated posts/stories.

   That’s a struggle because you need to figure out your own voice in that noise.

   3. You reflect here here acting oneself isn’t easy, “it sounds so simple when you say it out loud, but it’s actually the most emotionally draining, confronting, and ongoing goal I’ve ever had”.

   It’s emotionally draining because ‘for you, you are important’ you can’t expect the same from others. The problem here is many people are not enough self-aware.
   When they are not self-aware how they’ll understand you? So the process is emotionally draining, and conflicts occur too.
   Sustaining this zeal of keeping yourself up is difficult, especially when you are tired (mentally, emotionally).

   4. Anxiety is something many of us are dealing with, currently. Connecting to ‘your breathing (inhaling, exhaling) pattern’ and practicing it FREELY helps in such situation.
   But knowing yourself isn’t limited to our mind’s thinking pattern and body’s natural functioning, “it’s deeply spiritual too, because when you start to know yourself, you start to connect to something bigger”.

   The common sense is finding yourself, “is not glamorous. It’s quiet work”.

   Toh prioritising self acceptance is about “not abandoning myself when things get hard” at any cost.
   You’ll not allow the screaming inner critics applying their perfectionist attitude on you(basically good self-esteem over sharp criticism, guilt).

   You accept you are biased here. That’s you will choose your side in critical situations (otherwise who will?).

   5. Another hardest thing is being kind to oneself. When you don’t come true on “your own expectations” you feel strong emotional pain, finding it hard to accept “failures”.
   You wanted to make that happen. You were mentally and emotionally attached.

   Selflove. Knowing yourself is not limited to self acceptance it is also about loving yourself. You love yourself.💓
   You define selflove in the terms of, “being gentle with yourself on the days you feel like you’re failing”.

   6. A major achievement in this journey of knowing yourself is the rhythm. Knowing oneself, accepting and loving, it works like a rhythm or a wave.🌊
   It isn’t like one time purchase and then throw (use and throw). It’s a longtime process.
   Toh what you do? You identify the functioning of your emotions and how you behave overall (360°)

   This journey is like, on “some days, I feel at peace, like I finally understand my emotions, my triggers, my patterns”.
   However the experience isn’t limited to that. On “other days, I feel completely lost again”.

   How emotional awareness works?
   “You lose yourself and find yourself a thousand times. And every time you find yourself again, you come back a little softer, a little wiser.”(This is sweet. I’ve experienced that.)

   7. The Role of People. Apni life me logon ke extra interference se main bhi trast hun.😅 Bas ek baar…I want to give them ‘the huge feel of terror and judgment’ they give me all time.

   Toh you decide to shift your choices and behaviour ‘to adjust’ as per people’s liking; you wanted ‘to get fit in’. And you “thought people would like, calm but not distant, confident but not arrogant, kind but not naive” sides/version of you.
   Maine bhi yeh kiya hai 6th se 12th..firr nhi kiya…kya hi matlab.

   In important came here when you “realized one day that I didn’t really know what made me happy without thinking about how it looked to others.”

   And “that’s when this goal, to know myself, truly, started”.

   I would like to conclude here with your introductory statement: “If I had to be completely honest, the hardest personal goal I’ve ever set for myself has been learning to truly understand and accept who I am, not the version I post online, not the version that fits everyone’s expectations, but the real me”.

   This is a beautiful writing! I like like the way you see and pursue things.
   And I would not like ‘it feel something personal’. The events of my life may differ but their nature and causes & consequences have similarity with your story.

   Keep going on! 👍🏽

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   1. 

      Neha

      October 24, 2025

      Thanks lokesh, genuinely.
      I really liked how you broke it down and connected it with your own experiences…felt very real and thoughtful.
      That line about losing and finding yourself a thousand times… perfect. You get it.
      Appreciate you taking the time to write all that.

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      1. 

         Lokesh

         October 24, 2025

         🙏🏼

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