The Thought Box

Romance, to Me

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by

Neha
in

Honestly, for me, romantic isn’t just flowers, chocolates, or candlelight dinners, although those little gestures can be sweet. Romance, in its deepest form, is about emotional presence. It’s about two souls choosing to understand each other in a world that barely gives anyone the time to even understand themselves.

Romance is when someone pays attention to the small things, like how I take my tea, what kind of silence soothes me, what words make me anxious, and what dreams keep me up at night. It’s when someone holds space for me, not just when I’m glowing and happy, but even when I’m quiet, withdrawn, or healing.
It’s when the connection doesn’t fade during the storms, it deepens.

To me, romance is spiritual. It’s when the energy between two people feels calming, healing, and safe, not performative. It’s in long conversations that make time disappear. In sharing moonlight, poetry, songs, or even just quiet moments that say “I see you, truly.”

Romance is psychological too, because the most romantic thing is when someone chooses to understand your mind. Not just your smile, but the thoughts behind it. They don’t fix you; they don’t save you. But they choose to stand beside you while you grow. They make you feel less alone in your journey, and that’s rare.

Romance is when someone becomes your peace. Your safe space. When you don’t have to hide parts of yourself. When they make you feel like you’re enough, not something to constantly fix or prove.

In today’s world, where everything is so fast, so filtered, and so fleeting, I think the most romantic thing is depth. When someone slows down just for you. When they choose to be consistent in a world full of distractions. When love feels like coming home to yourself, but softer, warmer.

For me, romance is not about grand declarations, it’s about quiet consistency. It’s in that message saying “Text me when you reach,” in remembering the name of my favorite childhood book, or in the comfort of a shared silence.

Romance is when someone respects your growth, your boundaries, your beliefs, and still chooses you, not to change you, but to witness your becoming.

That’s romance.
That’s real.
That’s rare.
And that’s what I believe in.

✨ P.S. A Little Note from My Heart
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Comments

6 responses to “Romance, to Me”

  1. Jasper Hoogendam Avatar
    Jasper Hoogendam

    What is most counter mass cultural is recognizing depth as an important aspect of romance.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Neha Avatar
      Neha

      Right? Depth gets so overlooked these days in a world obsessed with aesthetics and highlight reels. Real romance isn’t just about vibes, it’s about values, presence, and emotional depth. That’s the stuff that actually stays. 💛✨

      Like

      Reply
  2. Lokesh Avatar
    Lokesh

    Hi Friend!
    Intentionally I was avoiding this post. I avoid reading poems and post around love. Because they make me ‘unstable’.
    Whereas facts based scientific explanations are always welcome. It’s possible to understand and apply such information. They can be generalized on larger level!

    Slowly I come to realise that love is more about living a real life rather than treat it as a fiction. I must have watched and read 1000+ love stories.
    I wasn’t searching for them. Love stories are an important part of popular culture. For example: most bollywood movies carry a love story, people often give compliments to eachother or gossip together on romance.
    Finding an ideal lover is a dream of many, whether they accept it publicly or not.

    Fiction may use imaginations to set high level of standards as well as maintain the basic purity between two souls. Fiction describes basic details better than movies.
    Movies are comercial by nature. But some of them were carefully crafted just for the actual lovers. I remember ”Nadiya ke paar” as an example right now. Movie “Gajini” also have a good storytelling and a sweet love story. I watched the “Jersey” movie, the relationship between the wife and the husband is beautifully expressed after they marry as lovers.
    I remember the female and the male leads from Premchand’s novels. I have read most of his novels during my teenage.
    ”Gunaho Ka Devta” by Dharmveer Bharati is unforgettable. The character of Sudha is so beautiful. The strength, commitment, and dedication she carry are some important values. I feel she was ahead of her time. Because she didn’t want to marry a random person. Also education mattered to her a lot. Chandar, the male character completes his Phd and becomes a professor. So it’s largely relatable lol.😂

    I’m a romantic person. That’s true!
    I never had any relationship. That’s also true!
    I definitely fall in love with someone, slowly”. I am not the same person since than. I felt so shy and anxious that I didn’t initiate a communication to my crush ever.
    She knew though. I texted her later. And she denied/rejected politely… which’s fine.

    I think all time I was chasing an imaginary character. It would be a lie if I say I don’t want to turn it into a reality. I wanted to design my own beautiful life and a sweet home I actual life; I strongly wanted that.
    I wanted to fight for her. I wanted to protect. I wished she keeps smiling — because she had the best smile. I liked her extrovert character. I wanted to leave my comfort zone and join her.
    I wanted her company, and we could have done “endless talks” to get comfortable — but this didn’t happen.

    Life is beautiful in itself. It doesn’t always go the way you plan.

    I don’t know how other people see it. But my crush somehow kept me motivated in tough times. The selftalks I had were in the form of me talking to her.
    Earlier I used to talk to God. Then I started talking to her instead of God. All this happened in my mind.

    I just know I will not be running a girl’s life. Seeing other relationships which are 20-30 years old I don’t want to marry. I’m not ready for it. Also I haven’t found the person the person of my interest.
    Due to family pressure you can marry a decent person — who might not be the perfect one but who agrees to be a companion; honest, kind and long-term one.
    I have thought of romance. I read books, watched movies, observed my own family and neighbours, and talked directly, to the people who fall for mutual love. I know many people who did love marriages.
    Life does change when you marry your lover. Whether it’s an arrange marriage or a love marriage — living in the civilised manner and growing together is a personal choice.

    I have seen love marriages failing, and many times, the decision seems early or unplanned. The sacrifices made by women in arrange marriages breaks my heart.
    If our mothers and aunties get self aware, almost all families will face “domestic violence” cases in the courts.
    Men aren’t perfect, but they can do better.
    Also I’m against patriarchy. ‘A woman is sometimes the biggest enemy of another woman.’

    Religion and Romance etc. are part of private life for me. I am interested and get informed, but I don’t talk publicly.
    No doubt! Laws are there to play their roles. But don’t make your family issue a public issue. Avoid at the extent it’s possible. But yeah justice can’t be compromised.
    It’s better to let go of what’s not yours.

    Love is incomplete when you don’t include the physical aspect. However, comparing love to sex isn’t a fair idea.
    Romance between two people. What it is? I have no idea. Oh yeah, I have watched some movies.
    Should I be learning? After marriage, I guess.

    My mother have warned me to not talk to girls since I was a kid. I was also suggested to stay away from boys who talk to girls.
    Only during class 11th and 12th I had 2-3 female friends from class who understood me and talked to me. These were open friendships, nothing sort of romantic connection.
    I’m still uncomfortable to talk to girls. I feel shy. I get anxiety.
    Beautiful girls give me more anxiety. A beauty with superb brain is a good combination.

    I actually feel good when P. V. Sindhu and Sakshi Malik brings medals. I like listening to female toppers of UPSC (I watch male toppers also). I like the development oriented bureaucratic minds.
    Honestly, I do relate to the UPSC toppers or bureaucrats more than History students.
    Tina Dabi mam, Ira Singhal mam, and Anudeep Durishetty sir (he has a blog on WordPress) are my inspirations.

    I don’t think romance alone will satisfy. Because I always want to use my mind, knowledge and physical strength for a good cause.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Neha Avatar
      Neha

      Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful perspective. You’ve touched on a lot that many of us think but rarely say out loud.

      Growing up in Indian households, it’s common to be told to stay away from the opposite gender and focus only on studies. That mindset makes it hard to explore emotions or relationships in a healthy way later on. The hesitation, anxiety, and even guilt around simple friendships or feelings are very real.

      The influence of movies and fiction on our idea of love is huge, especially in Indian culture, where almost every story revolves around romance. It builds this image of perfect, intense love, while real life is usually much quieter and more complicated.

      What you said about falling in love silently and not being able to express it, that happens to a lot of people, even if it’s not talked about. It becomes a whole inner journey that shapes who we are.

      Also, your point about the pressure to marry someone “decent” rather than someone who truly connects with you, it’s a reality in many families. And yes, both arranged and love marriages come with their own challenges. It’s the mutual effort and emotional maturity that really matter.

      Loved your reflections on strong women and how romance alone isn’t enough. A relationship needs shared values, emotional safety, and space for both people to grow. That mindset is solid.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Lokesh Avatar
        Lokesh

        Thank you for listening, reflecting and understanding, Neha!
        Conversations with you are secure and safe. It affects and guides my life on a larger level.
        Because, generally, I don’t talk these topics to my friends and family. What I know is largely based on a male perspective of the society. Unless I don’t get the chance what woman thinks it’s hard to develop a common approach linking mutual interests.
        You seem emotionally mature. It’s good to learn from you. You are a good human and a good friend.🙏🏽

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Neha Avatar
        Neha

        Thank you for such kind words. It genuinely means a lot. I’m glad we can have these honest conversations. Always here to talk, anytime. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

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